Parents can do all they can and attempt to instill rules and guidelines to their children, but most of the time, it is the slightest of things that children learn and take to be universal. Such habits might not necessarily be taught, but children learn what they see around them, and they learn a lot through their eyes compared to what they hear. It will range from body language to work to everything; kids absorb the behavior of their parents, their habits, or even things like unconsciousness. Following are 10 things that children can secretly see in their parents and the way they can mold them in their lives.
1. Motivation and Response to Emotion
The way parents respond to emotions is usually what children are observing keenly. Regardless of whether it is a case of stress, frustration, or happiness, children will learn how their parents will respond when faced with different situations. Studies conducted by the American Psychological Association point out that control of emotions is something that is implemented, and children will base their emotional reactions on that of their parents. When the parents are able to remain calm in stressful moments, the children also learn to react in that same way when they become older.
Example: When a parent goes through a busy day in the workplace or traffic hell and doesn’t show anger, a child is more prone to simulate that behavior when confronted with a similar challenge. Also, children learn how to cope with their positive feelings and emote them without overwhelming others when a parent is expressing his or her joy or excitement in a regulated way.
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2. Communication Styles
Children are highly interested in the way parents are talking to one another and other people. Such interactions are internalized by kids, whether they are chatting or solving a conflict. National Institute of Child Health and Human Development studies indicate that normal and civil communication to the kids is more likely to make them good communicators.
Example: In cases where parents are keen to listen when exchanging words, they do not interrupt and are articulate, children adopt such styles and replicate the same when communicating with one another. When a child watches how his or her parents resolve conflicts peacefully by talking rather than screaming and fighting, the child will tend to tackle conflict in the same way as they grow.
3. Body Image and Self-Worth
Parents can be very effective role models as far as self-esteem and body image are concerned. A study by the American Academy of Pediatrics identified that children imitate the attitude that their parents have towards their body and self-esteem. When there is a positive body image and love for self portrayed by the parent, children will develop the right idea of self-ness.
Example: In case a mother compliments her own abilities and shares positive ideas concerning her looks, a daughter is prone to develop the same tendencies towards her own body. Besides, the children will appreciate themselves and others in a better way when parents do not criticize their bodies and those of others.
4. Conflict Strategies
Children learn how their parents deal with conflicts or disputes, even those between relatives or other people. A study conducted and published in the Journal of Family Psychology shows that children who grow up watching their parents deal with conflict using open and respectful communication without increasing aggression levels develop the same skills in their personal relationships later in life.
Example: If parents interact during the resolution of conflict in a calm and cordial manner, they establish a model for conflict resolution, which will be emulated by their children when resolving conflict in their future relationships. When children observe their parents solving problems, it will make them use these tactics in their dealings with others as long as they do not view parents quarreling aggressively or in a passive-aggressive way.
5. Financial Habits
The money management skills of the parents tend to turn into the foundation upon which children develop their financial habits. Children go through the activities of the parents in terms of whether they are smart spenders or whether they save first before spending money, and even how they communicate on financial issues. According to research by the Financial Literacy and Education Commission, children can be trained early by being exposed to financial behaviors that influence their future abilities as far as money management is concerned.
Example: A child is likely to grow up knowing how to handle money well if the parents regularly budget, save, and teach the child about being responsible with their money. Responsible spending is encouraged by a parent who teaches their children how to understand the difference between a need or a want and how to prioritize it when making a purchasing decision.
6. Work Ethic and Ambition
Children watch the approach of parents toward work and career. Journals of Vocational Behavior published studies that indicate that a parent with a positive work ethic, enthusiasm toward their careers or occupation, and is also non-quitting in the event of a roadblock would tend to bring up a child with the same traits.
Example: A parent who combines work, family, and other interests sends a signal about why one should be ambitious and hardworking, inspiring his/her child to follow the same modus operandi as they become mature. When children see their parents striving to achieve their career objectives or quest for new things, there are high chances that the children will learn that in order to be successful, they should not forget about constant work and commitment.
7. Sympathy and Compassion
Children get to learn empathy through observing issues related to kindness that their parents express toward other people. Kids have a tendency to imitate the things they learn, regardless of whether it is rescuing a neighbor or being sympathetic to a friend. A study by the American Psychological Association revealed that children who witness people perform acts of kindness tend to behave pro-socially themselves.
Example: A volunteer parent, or one who merely helps other people within the community, trains his/her child on the significance of taking proper care of others and empathy. An example would be when a parent teaches his or her child to share, or when the parent is kind-hearted and offers assistance to an elderly neighbor, the child will embrace the outcomes of compassion and cooperation.
8. Time Management and Priorities
Children tend to observe how their mother and father plan their time and balance between different tasks and duties. A study by the International Journal of Behavioral Development has revealed that children born to those with good time management skills have a higher chance of acquiring such skills, which would help them in school and later in life.
Example: A parent who is able to balance work pressure, personal stuff, and recreation explains to his child the importance of striking a balance in every arena of life, helping the child prioritize his own work and other commitments in life. Also, when parents demonstrate to their children how to keep things organized either in planning or setting goals, children tend to keep doing so as they get older.
9. Respect for Boundaries
Parents can change the learning experience of their children concerning respect for others, as they tend to teach the children the same way they respect themselves. Having a parent with healthy boundaries and limits makes a child develop interpersonal relationships and respect for personal space better, according to Journal of Family Psychology research.
Example: A parent hears and respects the need of his/her child to have privacy; this child would learn to appreciate that respect when it is shown to him/her because the child would understand the need to create and adhere to the boundaries of a relationship. As an example, children understand the need to keep personal space and seek consent, which comes true when a parent knocks on the door of their children before entering their room or requesting to borrow something.
10. Failure-Oriented and Success-Oriented Attitudes
Children get greatly affected by how their parents react to failure and success. A study conducted at the Center for Developing Child at Harvard University determined that children see more resilience in their parents when faced with failure, which leads to a greater extension to persist through a setback in their lives.
Example: When a parent accepts failure as a learning experience and does not get egotistical when he/she accomplishes something, the child learns that both victory and failure come on the path of life, and it is the reaction to them that counts. When a parent does not quit when he fails to achieve something, this sends a lesson to the children that they need to be resilient in order to succeed.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Q1: How can I know the behaviors my child is acquiring from me?
A1: Children are observant, and many of the behaviors they acquire occur on a subconscious level. Be conscious of what you do, body language, and how you relate with others, particularly when stressed. It is important to reflect on your actions and inquire with your child about how they see things so that you can determine the effort they are acquiring through your example.
Q2: How can I make sure that my child learns positive things from me?
A2: Do what you say. Children will most likely adopt what they see on a regular basis. There is no better teacher than example: communicate effectively, listen actively, manage your emotions, and behave with empathy. Have open communication, deal with stress, and be kind when interacting with others.
Q3: What is the importance of my role in imparting life skills to my child?
A3: Teaching life skills is crucial as a parent. What you do is often a better teacher compared to what you say. The way you behave, your attitude, and how you cope with situations will determine the way your child will cope with their problems in life.
Q4: Do I run the risk of imparting bad habits to my child?
A4: Yes, negative habits can be acquired by children, such as negative communication, poor conflict-solving, or lack of emotional control. Being aware of your habits and consciously modeling good behaviors is one way to ensure your child adopts the right approach toward success and healthy living.
Conclusion
Whereas parents tend to think they are imparting some aspects to their children, it is evident that children are learning at all times, even when we assume that they are idle. As crucial as it may sound, kids can subconsciously learn emotional control to financial behavior patterns and copy everything their parents do, both good and bad. It is important to recognize the influence these practices have, and through these efforts, parents should be role models who raise a kind, responsible, resilient, and emotionally intelligent generation. With such thoughts in mind, parents may continue helping their children brighten the future and become more successful.
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