Words shape the way children grow and see the world. The positive affirmations from trusted adults become a part of their internal language, influencing their self-worth, resilience, and empathy.
Studies on the growth mindset show that when children are praised for effort and strategies rather than innate talent, they are more likely to persist through challenges. This shift in focus helps them build confidence, adopt a problem-solving mindset, and learn to embrace setbacks as opportunities for growth.
It’s not about offering empty compliments but guiding children with words that empower them to believe in themselves and build healthy relationships.
Below are 20 messages every child should hear regularly, why they matter, and insights from psychology and parenting experts.
Things Kids Need to Hear
I love you, no matter what.
Love should never be conditional. Saying “I love you” often reassures children that they are cherished, no matter what mistakes they may make. It helps them feel safe to explore, learn, and grow.I’m proud of you—not just for what you’ve achieved, but for doing your best.
Praising effort and perseverance teaches children that their value isn’t just in their success but in their determination and hard work. Recognizing these qualities builds resilience and a sense of accomplishment.It’s okay to make mistakes.
Mistakes are part of learning. When kids see their parents admit mistakes and take steps to fix them, it gives them permission to fail without shame and shows that growth comes from trying, not from being perfect.I believe in you.
Hearing that someone believes in them can make a world of difference. It gives children the courage to try, even when they’re unsure, and helps them develop the resilience to face difficulties head-on.Your feelings are valid—it’s okay not to be okay.
Children experience a range of emotions, and it’s essential for them to know it’s okay to feel sad, angry, or anxious. Labeling and acknowledging their feelings helps them develop emotional intelligence and self-awareness.Thank you.
Appreciation goes a long way. When children feel valued for their efforts, it encourages them to contribute and cooperate without feeling taken for granted. Thanking them for even small tasks shows them that their contributions matter.I appreciate you.
Showing children that you appreciate who they are—not just what they do—helps them feel seen and valued for their unique qualities. Whether it’s their kindness, creativity, or sense of humor, acknowledgment builds their self-esteem.What do you think?
Asking for a child’s opinion shows respect for their thoughts and encourages them to think critically. It empowers them to feel like their voice matters and helps build their confidence in decision-making.You are enough.
Children face pressure to fit in and measure up. Reminding them that they are enough as they are encourages self-acceptance and helps them embrace their individuality, free from the need for perfection.I believe in you / I put my faith in you.
Telling kids that you believe in their abilities gives them the confidence to trust their instincts and tackle problems independently. Active listening and giving them room to find solutions fosters their sense of responsibility and autonomy.You can make a difference.
Children need to know their actions, no matter how small, matter. Reinforcing that their contributions count builds self-esteem and encourages empathy, responsibility, and a sense of purpose.I’m sorry.
Apologizing when you make a mistake teaches children that it’s okay to be imperfect and that owning up to errors is a sign of strength, not weakness. It also helps them learn to apologize and take responsibility for their actions.Be honest.
Teaching children the importance of honesty encourages them to express themselves openly and feel safe doing so. When they see you model honesty, they learn that truthfulness is valued and that mistakes can be corrected without fear of punishment.You won’t always be liked by everyone—and that’s okay.
Children need to understand that they don’t need to please everyone to be valuable. Teaching them that it’s okay not to be liked by everyone helps them build self-confidence and avoid the pitfalls of people-pleasing.It’s your choice.
Allowing children to make decisions teaches them responsibility and independence. They learn that their choices matter and that they are capable of navigating their own path, which boosts their confidence in decision-making.I’m giving you a second chance.
Everyone deserves a second chance. Encouraging children to try again after they’ve made a mistake helps them see that failure is temporary, and that they can improve with effort.You’ve got what it takes to succeed.
Helping children recognize their inner strength builds resilience. When they believe they are capable of success, they are more likely to tackle challenges head-on and persist through difficult situations.I like you.
Telling a child that you like them—not just love them—reinforces their value as a person. Be specific: “I like how thoughtful you are” or “I love your sense of humor.” This builds their self-esteem and makes them feel truly seen.Could I get your advice?
Asking for their input makes children feel important and valued. It helps them develop decision-making skills and teaches them that their ideas are worthy of consideration.I’m here for you.
Children need to know they have your support, no matter what. When they feel safe and secure, it lowers anxiety and gives them the confidence to face life’s challenges.
Related: How To Make Your Kids Feel Loved
Why These Messages Matter
The words we use with children shape their self-esteem, emotional health, and their view of the world.
Research shows that when we praise effort rather than innate ability, children develop a growth mindset, which makes them more resilient, motivated, and willing to take on challenges.
By teaching children how to handle setbacks, make decisions, and accept themselves, we’re fostering independence and confidence that will last a lifetime.
Related: How To Make Your Kids Happy
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
How often should I say these things?
Consistency is key. The more regularly you incorporate these affirmations into your everyday interactions, the more natural they will feel to your child. It’s not about a checklist—it’s about building a habit of positive communication.
Isn’t too much praise harmful?
It’s important to praise effort, not just outcomes. Avoid inflated or vague praise like “You’re so smart.” Instead, focus on specific actions and strategies that your child can control, such as, “I’m proud of how hard you worked on that project.”
What if my child doesn’t seem to appreciate it?
Sometimes, especially with older children, compliments may be met with indifference. Keep offering sincere encouragement; even if they don’t outwardly acknowledge it, these messages still sink in over time.
How do I model honesty and apologies?
Children learn best by example. If you make a mistake, admit it, apologize, and explain what you’ll do differently next time. When your child is truthful, reinforce their honesty and focus on finding solutions rather than punishing them.
Are there cultural differences in expressing these messages?
Cultural norms play a role in how we show affection and praise. While some cultures may express love more through actions than words, the core values of unconditional love, respect, and trust remain universal.
What about children with special needs?
All children, regardless of abilities, need affirmation. For children who are non-verbal or have developmental delays, using alternative communication methods—such as sign language, gestures, or visuals—can help express these messages of love and encouragement.
By offering these words of affirmation and love, we’re not just helping children succeed academically or socially, but we’re giving them the foundation to grow into resilient, empathetic, and self-confident individuals.
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