9 Techniques to Avoid Arguments With Your Child

Parenting is one of the most rewarding experiences a person can have in their life. However, it is also a role that comes with many responsibilities. If there’s one major complaint that parents have, it’s their frustration with arguments with their kids. It doesn’t matter what the issue is; the fight could be over something trivial, such as not making their bed, not eating vegetables, or playing video games.

In any case, if both you and your child begin to get worked up over an argument, it is only going to make the situation worse. So, how do you prevent an argument with your child? How do you speak with your child so that they are more willing to listen to you?

9 Techniques to Avoid Arguments with Your Child

1. Listen Before You Speak

One of the most important techniques you should know is the power of listening. A child will be much less likely to argue if they feel that they are being heard. If your child is upset with something, you need to let them have their say before offering any solutions or advice.

Make sure that you are actively listening to your child. This means not interrupting them, but also making sure that you are looking at them and maintaining eye contact. Once they have finished, it can be a good idea to paraphrase what they have said so they know you’ve been listening.

For example, you could say something along the lines of: “I hear that you’re upset because you didn’t get enough time to finish your homework.” By taking the time to listen, you will often be able to head off any arguments before they even start.

2. Have Clear Expectations

Another major cause of arguments between parents and their children is having different expectations or assumptions.

Before having a discussion with your child, be sure that you have clear expectations for what should happen. If, for example, you are having a discussion about their bedtime, make sure that you have made it very clear to them what the rules are.

This means ensuring they know what time they need to be in bed, why it is important, and what the consequences will be if they do not follow the rules. Remember, your child is less likely to argue if there are no surprises for them. If you have set a boundary previously, they will expect you to follow through on that.

3. Pick Your Battles

One of the biggest ways to avoid arguing with your child is simply to stop arguing about small things. Life is too short to get worked up and start arguing over little things, especially with your kids. Make sure that you are picking your battles with your child. If they are doing something that you know you don’t want to get into an argument over, let it go.

It is so easy to lose your cool with your kids and argue over every little thing. If you are the parent of more than one child, you will know that sometimes they all seem to pick on each other. While it may be important to have discussions on why their behavior is not appropriate, it is not the end of the world if you let it slide.

4. Keep Your Cool

Children learn how to deal with conflict and arguments by watching and learning from their parents. If you start losing your temper, shouting, and screaming every time you have an argument, your child will also be likely to respond in that way. One of the most important things you can do to avoid arguing with your child is to keep your cool.

Try not to get upset when you are having an argument with your child. If you find that you are getting upset, take a few deep breaths, count to ten, and then continue. If you need a moment to calm down, simply tell your child that you will get back to them in a few minutes and take a quick break. The calmer you remain in these situations, the more likely you are to avoid an argument.

5. Reinforce Positivity

Another helpful tip is to ensure that you are positively reinforcing good behavior from your child. If they are doing something that you want, make sure that you are giving them praise. This could be if they are doing something that you want them to do without you having to tell them, if they have helped out with something around the house, or if they have been kind to a sibling.

The more you can reinforce good behavior, the less likely you will be to argue with your child.

Related: How To Make Your Kids Happy

6. Be Empathetic

Arguments can often start due to emotions getting in the way of communication. If your child is upset or angry, instead of immediately jumping in to solve the problem or fix the issue, take the time to empathize with them first. Phrases such as “I understand why you’re upset” or “I can see why you’re angry” can go a long way in defusing an argument.

By empathizing with your child first, you will find that they are more receptive to you. They will understand that you are on their side, and this can be a great way to prevent an argument from escalating.

7. Offer Choices Instead of Commands

One reason that children often argue is that they do not feel like they have any control or say in a situation. If you are constantly telling them what to do, it is very likely that they will argue with you. Instead, offer your children a choice in what they do and how they do it.

Giving them some control over situations will make them much more likely to cooperate. For example, if you are telling them to clean their room, instead of ordering them to “clean your room now,” offer them a choice, such as, “Do you want to clean your room now, or after you have your snack?”

By giving your children a choice in what they do, you will find that they will be much less likely to argue.

8. Be a Good Role Model

If you want your child to know how to have an argument or how to avoid an argument, you need to be a good role model. If you are constantly arguing with your partner, your child will think that is how an argument should be handled. The best way to ensure that your child knows how to avoid arguments is to model it.

Make sure that you are always having arguments in a calm and respectful way. If you have an issue that needs to be discussed with your child, ensure that you are taking a mature approach to the argument and involving them in finding a solution.

9. No Interruptions When Discussing

The final tip to avoid an argument with your child is to make sure that neither of you interrupts the other. One of the biggest frustrations for children when having an argument with their parents is being interrupted and not being listened to. It is also very frustrating for you when they do that to you.

Set a clear rule in your home that when one person is talking, the other person needs to listen and not interrupt in any way. By setting this rule, you will find that you both stick to it. It will also ensure that your child learns to be a good communicator and knows how to have a calm discussion.

Conclusion

There are many different things that can cause arguments between you and your child, from miscommunication and lack of respect to emotions getting in the way of communication. However, there are also many ways to ensure that you don’t argue with your child.

If you follow these nine tips, you will find that you are not only less likely to have arguments with your child, but you will also be able to build a much better and closer relationship with them.

Parenting is one of the most important jobs you will ever do, but it can be made much easier by knowing how to avoid arguments with your child.

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