When I was younger, I recall always feeling this intensity of desire to be trusted by my parents. I used to question myself—what would make them think I might be able to make my own choices? However, later on in my life, I saw that trust is not created overnight but is a process and is built step by step over time through behavior and consistency.
The basis of any healthy relationship is trust, and the relationship you have with your parents is no exception. It is crucial since it gives you space to be who you are and feel supported. But then… as much as we would like to have our parents trust us, we also fail to acknowledge the effort we must put on our part to make this happen. It is not a single grand move but the list of little ones that will demonstrate that we deserve that trust.
Why Is Trust So Important?
Why then is trust so important? Well, it’s easy. Lacking trust, any relationship—whether with your parents, friends, or significant others—does not easily thrive. Trust is a setting that makes both sides in the parent-child relationship feel secure. Parents long to feel that you are making good choices and that you can effectively handle responsibility. You long to feel that you are heard and understood.
Misplaced trust usually creates misunderstandings and useless tension. Personally, there have been times when my parents did not believe in my decisions, and this was not necessarily because they did not want me to prosper but rather because they were not entirely sure of my judgment. This was painful, but I knew that it is up to me to alter that perception.
How to make your parents trust you
Step One: Talk Openly and Honestly
They always say honesty is the best policy, and it is truly so when it comes to gaining parental confidence. To make them trust you, you should demonstrate that you are open and transparent in your thoughts, actions, and decisions. For example, say I planned to go out with a group of friends, instead of silently sneaking off, I would inform my parents where I was going, who I would be with, and when I would be back.
Naturally, you do not need to tell them all the details, but when you are honest about your motives and whereabouts, they will learn to trust you and make correct decisions.
I was taught that by simply being open in the way I communicate, my parents never felt the need to question what I was doing, and that made the difference in a lot of our relationship tensions.
Related; How to Make Your Parents Get You a Phone (Without Arguing)
Step 2: Communicate Actual Accountability and Responsibility
Being responsible for what you do is a significant component in trust-building. Both when you go wrong and when you keep a promise, you are credible when you take responsibility.
There are times when I did something wrong, such as forgetting to complete an assignment or being late past curfew, but I did not come up with any excuses—I accepted responsibility. I would describe the situation that occurred, admit I was wrong, and speak about how I would prevent such an event in the future.
Taking responsibility will make your parents see that you can understand what you did wrong and that you are also old enough to take the necessary action to make things better.
Being responsible is not only about major planning, but that responsibility comes in smaller things as well, like maintaining your room or doing your household chores without being reminded.
Related; 15 Signs of Bad Parenting
Step 3: Do What You Say
Nothing destroys trust more than lying to oneself. When it comes to making promises, be they to take out the trash or to study for a test, breaking a promise—not to mention breaking it multiple times—can be a very bad step toward a worse relationship. I understood that in order to make my parents trust me, I first needed to be reliable. When I committed to doing something, I did it, no matter how insignificant it might have seemed.
Saying you are going to do it is the easy part; what really counts is how you deliver on the promises that are not as flashy. When you meet a promise, however small it appears, your parents will see that they can rely on you, and trust will arise as a matter of course.
Step 4: Consistency
The element of trust is not a one-time action, but an activity of continuously doing something in a certain way. What I did notice was that when I became consistent in my vows—such as being either on time, keeping my word, or even being responsible—then my parents began to trust me a lot more. It is a snowball effect. The more they saw that I could be relied upon in one respect, the more they began to rely on me in other things also.
When there is consistency, there is a sense of what could be expected. This provides a feeling of predictability, which brings in trust. Once I proved myself to be dependable, my parents felt safe to give me greater leeway.
Step 5: Be Respectful of Values and Opinions of Your Parents
And sometimes, earning some trust is not simply about what you do but what you do to people, and how you treat them—particularly your parents. I was taught that though my parents did not necessarily agree with certain things, it was still important to hold their views and ideas in high regard. I would not always go along with everything they told me, but I listened and heard them out.
Due to respecting their values, you can show them that you see the bigger picture. It does not involve being right in an argument, but rather promoting respect for each other, upon which trust is built.
Step 6: Independent but Not Distant
Dependence is a massive contributor to gaining the trust of your parents. It demonstrates to them that you are capable of making your own initiatives and looking after yourself. But the line between autonomy and withdrawal is thin. I learned that although I needed greater freedom, I had to remain bonded emotionally with my parents.
I would call them throughout the day and tell them what I was eager about or fearful of. It made them know that I still belonged to them and that they still mattered to me, despite being more independent. This balance enabled the establishment of a sense of trust as well as closeness.
Step 7: Remaining Unperturbed by Conflict
Conflict is an unavoidable part of any relationship, but it is the way of managing it that either kills or builds the trust. I have quarreled with my parents as well, and I have taken a lesson there.
In highly-charged situations and arguments, I must remain calm and collected. I attempted to be calm and not scream or leave but rather listen to their point of view, reason myself out to them, and arrive at that solution collaboratively.
This wouldn’t only maintain me in charge of the situation but also display to my parents that I was indeed mature enough to manage conflict in a respected manner. I could have stayed calm and been able to maintain the discussion and save the trust we had established.
Step 8: Demonstrate That You Care About Their Concerns
Trust is not about showing that you are trustworthy, but it is about showing that you value things that are important to them.
When my parents got concerned about something, I would listen to them and confirm their concerns, even when I did not agree fully. This demonstrated to them that I cared about their feelings and that I was not only thinking of myself.
By being sensitive about the issues of your parents, you not only make the bond clearer but also give them higher trust in you. Everything is about creating a relationship that rests upon common understanding.
Conclusion
Trust is mutual, and as much as we might need our parents to trust us, we have to put in place the necessary measures to warrant it. Through straightforward communication, responsibility, promise-keeping, and consistency, we may develop the kind of trust that will stand the test of time in our lives.
The best part about this process is that it is continuous. Trust is one of the things that, once gained, can be even increased the more one goes on.
The time is now—prove to your parents that you are what you say, and that they need never lose confidence in you. Not only will you win their confidence but will also open the path to a stronger and more satisfying relationship.
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