Getting our children to actually listen to us sometimes seems like a losing battle. Asking them to put their toys away, do their homework, or just listen when we’re talking is easier said than done.
As an expert in child behavior, I know the importance of teaching our kids how to listen and respect boundaries, and I’ve come up with 5 tips to help you turn your little monster into a sweet angel.
Attention-deficit issues are a major topic of interest in the field of child psychology, and it’s something most parents have to deal with.
The inability to pay attention, which often goes hand in hand with a lack of respect, is one of the most common behavioral problems in children. So, how can we help our little ones become better listeners?
How to Help Your Kids Listen
1. Get Down to Their Level
Children have a very short attention span and can get overloaded if they have to focus on a subject from a long distance, even just a few steps. When a child is not on the same level as an adult, it’s also harder to connect and build a psychological rapport.
The solution is to squat in front of them and bring yourself to their height. By lowering yourself to their level, you will maintain eye contact, which is essential for your child to feel connected to you.
This also tells the child that you are ready to listen to them and that you want them to listen to you too. Children also want to be heard, and they are more likely to listen to us if they know that we are willing to hear them out.
Related: How to Make Your Kids Listen
2. Use Clear, Simple Instructions
We can often get carried away with our explanations or get frustrated when we’re in a hurry. This causes us to provide instructions in complex sentences, which can be difficult for our children to follow.
The good news is that children can focus on and take in only one or two things at a time. So, if you need to explain something, do so using short, precise sentences, as well as clear, actionable instructions.
Try to avoid using more than two instructions in one sentence. For example, instead of saying, “Would you please pick up the toys that you threw on the floor and then we will start your homework?” just say, “Pick up the toys.”
This will make it easier for the child to focus and process the instructions, and they will be much more likely to follow through. After your child has done what you asked, don’t forget to praise them.
Related: How To Teach Your Kids To Pray
3. Make Listening Fun and Interactive
Children love games, especially if they involve movement. So, when you are trying to get your child to do something, try to make it more fun and interactive.
When you tell your child to pick up the toys, make it a game: “Let’s see who can do it faster!” You can also try using songs or rhymes to get your child to do something. For example, when telling your child to wash their hands, you can make a game out of it by singing a song or a funny chant.
Older children may also be easier to get to listen to you if you turn it into a challenge or joke. If you can make listening fun, children will be much more likely to do it.
Related: How To Make Your Kids Happy
4. Establish a Routine and Stick to It
Children love routine and predictability, and they will be much more likely to listen to you if they know what to expect. Set times for different activities like mealtimes, playtimes, study time, and bedtime, and try to follow the schedule as much as possible.
By doing so, your child will learn what they are supposed to do at certain times, and when you ask them to do something at those times, they will be much more likely to listen. If you always ask your child to do their homework at 4 p.m., they will be ready and willing to do so when you ask them.
Consistency is also important when it comes to the way you give them instructions. The more you make sure you always give the same request in the same, matter-of-fact tone, the more your child will know what to expect and what is required of them. This will also help build trust in your relationship with your child.
Related: How to Make Your Kids Feel Special Every Day
5. Lead by Example: Show Listening Skills Yourself
Children often learn by imitating what they see. If we want our children to be good listeners, we need to set a good example for them.
Children love attention, so when they are talking to us, we need to stop whatever we are doing and give them our full attention. Set a good example by showing that you care about what they are saying.
Be sure to practice active listening as well, which is listening not just to the words they say but also to the feelings behind them. If you know that your child is upset or angry about something, instead of immediately jumping in with solutions or arguments, first empathize with them: “I see you are really upset about that, what happened?”
This will help your child become a more attentive and considerate listener too, and they will be much more likely to return the favor when you need them to listen to you.
Conclusion
Improving your child’s listening skills is a process that requires time, patience, and a lot of understanding.
It also depends on building a relationship with your child and connecting with them on an emotional level. While each of these strategies can help you in this regard, you need to remember that all children are different, and what works for one may not work for another.
The key is to try different things and see what works for you and your child. Experiment, and you will find what you are looking for. The most important thing is that you care and are willing to make an effort.
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