Parenting is tough. On one hand, you want your child to feel loved and secure. On the other hand, you need to establish rules and boundaries.
It can be hard to know when you’re going too far in either direction.
Your child might be spoiled if:
The common thread in most of these examples? Instant gratification.
Kids today grow up in a world of “want it and want it now.” Between endless technology and consumerism, our desires are constantly being stimulated.
It can be hard to know when to say no.
Should You Let Your Kids Do Anything They Want?
Of course not!
But that doesn’t mean you should create a spoiled child in the process.
Children need both love and limits.
As parents, it’s our job to find the balance.
Below are the signs that tell your child is spoiled and what to do.
1. They Throw Tantrums When They Don’t Get What They Want
All kids melt down sometimes.
You can expect plenty of emotional fireworks as they learn to manage their feelings.
But if your child yells, cries, screams, or acts violently when you tell them “no,” that’s a red flag.
These epic meltdowns are often learned behavior if they happen frequently.
Children usually throw big tantrums because they know it gets them what they want.
What to do:
Don’t give in.
It’s never going to be fun in the moment to see your child upset.
But when you allow them to scream until you give in, you are teaching them that manipulation works.
Try to stay calm and validate their feelings without rewarding the behavior.
You can say things like, “I know you’re upset… but that’s still not OK.”
The more consistent you remain with limits, the easier it will become. They will learn that their emotions are allowed, but acting out to get what they want isn’t.
Related: 15 Signs of Bad Parenting
2. They Don’t Say “Please” or “Thank You”
Words of politeness are not intuitive. We have to teach our children.
“Please” and “thank you” become habitual when they are used consistently in your family.
If your child lacks gratitude, it may be a sign that they are spoiled.
What to do:
Lead by example and use these phrases with your kids (and others) throughout the day.
You can gently remind them by asking, “What do we say?” until they remember on their own.
Practice makes progress. Gratitude also helps build empathy and contentment.
Related: How to Stop a Child from Repeating Bad Behavior
3. They Expect Rewards for Everyday Tasks
Your child may be spoiled if they ask, “What do I get?” every time they take out the trash or make their bed.
What to do:
Stop rewarding every single thing they do.
Explain that everyone pitches in around the house.
Occasionally tell them how proud you are, but stop tying every responsibility to a reward.
Related: Mindful Parenting: How to Stay Calm in Stressful Moments
4. They Don’t Share With Others
All young kids struggle with sharing.
Toddlers are just learning the concept of “mine.”
But as they get older, if your child continually hoards toys or possessions from siblings or peers, they may have developed entitlement.
What to do:
Play games that involve taking turns.
Praise them when you see them sharing.
You shouldn’t force sharing, but you can encourage empathy by asking how they would feel in the other person’s situation.
Related: Essential Parenting Tips for First-Time Moms
5. They’re Always Wanting “More”
Do you give in to your child’s demands just to keep the peace? If they want a new toy, gadget, or video game, do you usually say yes?
Unfortunately, this kind of instant gratification can breed entitlement.
What to do:
Draw firm boundaries around purchases.
Explain that everyone has to wait for something they want sometimes.
You can make a “want list” that your child can save for by earning money through chores.
6. They Don’t Respect Family Rules
If your rules are constantly questioned, argued with, or ignored, your child may be spoiled.
Children need structure to feel safe.
If you’ve never had clear rules or consequences, your child may think they run the house.
What to do:
Set firm and simple family rules that everyone can follow.
Explain the consequences for breaking them — and follow through consistently.
Remain united with your parenting partner so your child learns the rules don’t change.
7. They Always Blame Someone Else
Is your child never wrong?
Do they constantly blame others for their problems?
Children need to learn how to take ownership of their mistakes.
What to do:
When they make a mistake, calmly ask what they could have done differently.
Model accountability in your own life.
Praise them when they own up to something, even if it’s hard.
Related: Positive Parenting Techniques To Build A Stronger Bond
8. They Interrupt You All. The. Time.
Your child will interrupt you occasionally.
Kids are excited to tell you about their day or new discoveries.
But if they constantly demand your attention and interrupt conversations, they may be spoiled.
What to do:
Teach them a signal they can use when they need you.
It can be as simple as placing a hand on your arm.
Role-play waiting for you to finish speaking.
Praise them when they remember to wait their turn.
9. They Think Everyone’s Life Should Revolve Around Them
Would your child be okay if you spent the whole day playing with their sibling?
Do they throw a fit when you focus on someone or something else?
If your child becomes upset when they’re not receiving 100% of your attention, they may be spoiled.
What to do:
Carve out one-on-one time so they feel secure.
Encourage independent play.
Help them celebrate their sibling’s accomplishments.
Related: 9 Signs You Are A Great Parent
10. They Overreact to Small Disappointments
Life is full of disappointments — even for adults.
A lost toy, scraped knee, or canceled playdate are all opportunities to learn resilience.
If your child makes a mountain out of every small problem, they may be spoiled.
What to do:
Allow them to feel upset, but resist the urge to fix everything.
Encourage problem-solving.
Share stories about how you handled disappointment at their age.
11. They Yell, Talk Back, or Are Disrespectful Toward Adults
Children are still learning and growing.
It’s normal for kids to have occasional lapses in politeness.
But if your child regularly talks back, rolls their eyes, or uses sarcasm, they may be spoiled.
What to do:
Address the behavior calmly and immediately.
Continue using respectful language yourself.
Maintain consistent expectations with your partner.
Kids may act like they know better — but they learn from your example.
Related: 10 Signs You’re Being Too Strict As A Parent
12. They Never Want to Help
Kids should help with chores around the house.
If your child resists responsibilities entirely, they may be spoiled.
What to do:
Assign age-appropriate chores.
Incorporate chores into your routine.
Remind them that families help each other.
Avoid framing chores as punishment.
13. They Always Want “Bigger” and “Better”
“I want that!” “Mine is broken!”
Kids compare themselves to others at school and home.
If your child constantly wants newer, bigger, or better things, they may be spoiled.
What to do:
Limit media exposure.
Turn off the TV during commercials and talk about how companies try to influence buying decisions.
Focus on values, experiences, and saving for special purchases.
Related: How To Co-Parent Successfully After A Divorce
14. They Lack Empathy
Does your child comfort someone who falls — or laugh and move on?
Kids are naturally empathetic, but empathy must be nurtured.
If your child shows little regard for others who are hurt or upset, they may be spoiled.
What to do:
Talk openly about feelings.
Ask questions that encourage perspective-taking.
Praise acts of kindness.
Encourage small opportunities to help others.
15. They Don’t Think Rules Apply to Them
“I don’t have to clean my room!”
“It’s not fair!”
Kids can be dramatic.
But if your child constantly negotiates or insists rules don’t apply to them, it may signal entitlement.
What to do:
Remind them that everyone is treated fairly.
Maintain consistent consequences.
Avoid giving one child special privileges without reason.
Children feel safest when expectations are predictable.
Why Kids Become Spoiled (+ The Truth About Parenting Guilt)
It takes a village… to spoil a child.
Just kidding. But parents do play a big role.
Kids may become spoiled because:
Their parents work long hours and compensate with gifts.
Parents give in to avoid conflict.
There’s tension at home, so boundaries become inconsistent.
Life feels overwhelming.
Parents want to give their child what they didn’t have growing up.
Parenting isn’t perfect.
You will make mistakes.
It’s natural to worry.
But parenting isn’t about perfection — it’s about growth.
How To Tell Your Child “No” Without Feeling Guilty
Notice some of these signs?
Don’t beat yourself up.
Start setting firmer boundaries now.
Children are resilient and adapt well to structure.
Have clear boundaries.
Don’t expect immediate compliance.
Lead by example.
Do family activities together.
Teach them to wait.
Focus on gratitude.
Stay consistent, and you’ll find your groove.
Spoiled Child vs. Loved Child
It’s easy to feel guilty as a parent.
But you’re not alone.
A loved child knows:
They are safe.
There are rules.
Mistakes happen.
Life isn’t always fair.
They are responsible for contributing.
A spoiled child believes:
Everyone should always listen to them.
Rules don’t apply.
They can avoid accountability.
They should get everything they want.
Others should serve them.
Don’t confuse love with spoiling.
Children need both affection and boundaries.
So how do you know if you’re ruining your child?
You’re not.
Parenting is hard.
But it’s also rewarding, amazing, and worth it.
And if you’re worried about whether you’re doing it right?
That’s usually a sign that you care deeply — and that matters most.
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