The first time you become a parent to a newborn is an event you’ve likely fantasized about through movies, books, and social media. The joy of welcoming your tiny little bundle into your life is easy to imagine, and you daydream about their adorably funny baby quirks. But very little is said about the changes motherhood will bring.
Big and small, right and wrong, natural and illogical — you can count on life as a mother to change you in ways you cannot imagine, no matter how much other moms share their experiences. You may read about most of them in advance, but there will still be some surprises.
If you’re a new mom or have a little one on the way, here are some changes you may not expect and some that, surprisingly, you do, but still have no idea how to prepare for.
10 Unexpected Changes That Come With Motherhood
1. Your Body Will Change in Ways You Never Imagined It Would
You know your body will change during pregnancy, and you know that at least parts of it won’t bounce back as quickly as they used to. Your hips will feel wider, and your tummy will stay softer for far longer than expected.
The sudden hair loss and greasy skin that no amount of face wash can scrub clean are some of the pregnancy and childbirth effects you’re not prepared to hear about. You know they will happen when you find out you’re pregnant, but you’re only half-prepared for them.
What no one tells you, though, is that you won’t instantly bounce back into your pre-pregnancy jeans post-birth — not that you’re in any rush to.
Your body will go through many unanticipated changes in the following months, such as the way your breasts will shape-shift as you feed your baby. There may also be a sudden drop or jump in metabolism, making it impossible to lose any of that “baby weight.” All of this can happen and eventually fade, and one day, you’ll fall in love with your new body all over again.
Related: What Your Baby’s Birth Weight Tells You
2. You Will Be Patient in Ways You Never Thought Possible
The patience required in motherhood may be the most shocking feature for many. You consider yourself patient, always have, but nothing will test your limits more than your new tiny human demanding to be held 24/7 or crying hysterically because you didn’t feed them at their first whim.
The endless hours of the early days with a baby — changing diapers, feeding, rocking them to sleep, and starting all over again — will leave you wondering when you’ll ever find time for yourself.
As your child grows, your patience will need to expand for every new stage in their development: how to eat, talk, behave, and be kind, and on, and on.
You’ll discover patience you didn’t know you had, taking deep breaths and waiting through situations that once would have been impossible for you to endure. You’ll be surprised how other things in your life that used to irk you will now have you practicing that same patience.
3. Your Social Life Will Most Likely Take a Permanent Detour
Pregnancy, labor, postpartum recovery, and preparing for a baby are so intense and time-consuming that it’s easy to forget or believe that life will eventually return to normal.
But many first-time parents, especially moms, find their social lives taking a drastic turn. With all the new responsibilities of a little one, it can be hard to find the energy to spend an entire night out with friends, and even when you do, you won’t quite have that same “spontaneous” vibe that was once so familiar.
Socializing will require more planning than you could ever expect. Your social calendar will revolve around your baby’s nap and bedtime schedules, making it practically impossible to be on time or fully enjoy an event.
You may find yourself feeling increasingly isolated from the life you once knew. But eventually, your new social life will blossom. You’ll make friends in the parenting community, and your idea of fun will evolve for the better.
Related: 7 Tips to Lose Weight During Pregnancy
4. You Will Sleep Far Less Than You Ever Imagined
There’s no way to fully prepare for the sleepless nights and exhaustion that come with having a newborn in your house.
You may have heard the phrase, but until you’re in it, you won’t realize how all-encompassing the tiredness of the first few weeks and months will be.
Newborns wake up every few hours demanding to be fed, no matter how much you wish to sleep through it. As they grow older, teething and illnesses will continue to disrupt their sleep — and by extension, yours.
You’ll learn to function on less rest than you ever thought possible. Over time, your body and mind will adjust to this new rhythm of little or no sleep.
It will amaze you that you can get through days of almost no rest while still functioning at only 60% of your usual capacity. Then, one day, your baby will sleep through the night, and you’ll realize that your concept of rest has permanently changed.
5. Your Priorities Will Change — Forever
Before you become a parent, you think you’re in charge of your time. You decide when to go to the gym, book a weekend getaway, or stay up late working on projects. However, this illusion will shatter the moment you see your tiny little one.
Suddenly, you’ll be hyper-aware of every detail of your baby’s growth and well-being. You’ll be so consumed with their moods, milestones, and health that everything else will feel secondary — whether it’s your career or staying active on social media.
When you realize how much they consume your priorities, it can feel overwhelming. You thought you were in control of your time, but now your tiny human has taken charge.
Related: 5 Ways to Be an Organized Mom
6. You Will Start Questioning Yourself Like Never Before
First-time moms often start to question every decision and choice they’ve made. From feeding schedules to parenting techniques, you’ll second-guess everything.
The pressure of modern motherhood, with the need to be the “perfect mom,” doesn’t help either, as you’re bombarded with comparisons on social media, from family, and from friends.
You may doubt yourself — your choices, your ability to do the right thing by your child. It’s a heavy burden, especially when you feel like you’re still figuring things out.
You’ll feel like you’re not doing enough, that you’re falling short of the ideals others seem to be meeting. This questioning is exhausting but is also a rite of passage for many new moms.
7. You Will Feel the Motherly Love Deeper Than Ever Before
You’ve heard the stories and seen the memes about meeting your child for the first time, seeing them, and instantly feeling an overwhelming surge of love.
However, no words or visuals can truly prepare you for how intense and life-changing this experience will be. When that moment comes, the rush of oxytocin and the instinct to protect, care for, and love will consume you.
What you don’t know is that this feeling will change everything — even your relationships. Your bond with your partner will deepen as you experience this together, and you may form closer connections with family members and other new moms who understand this emotion.
Related: How To Make Your Kids Feel Loved
8. You Will Find Inner Strength You Didn’t Think You Had
You may feel your weakest physically and emotionally as you navigate the early days with your newborn.
Sleepless nights, endless diaper changes, and constant feedings can make you feel like you’re running on empty. But eventually, you’ll discover an inner strength you didn’t know existed, helping you push through the challenges.
You’ll find the energy to deal with tantrums, soothe your baby through teething, and keep going despite the exhaustion. Your body and mind will adapt to this new stage in life, and you’ll realize you are capable of more than you ever imagined.
9. You Will Feel Anxiety Like Never Before
Before becoming a mom, you may have experienced anxiety over work, relationships, or finances. But when you add a small, fully dependent human to your life, anxiety reaches a whole new level.
You’ll worry about everything — whether they’re eating and sleeping enough, if they’re meeting milestones, and whether you’re doing enough for them. This constant worry can feel overwhelming, and you may even start to doubt yourself in situations that don’t require it. This anxiety is a natural part of motherhood, but it can feel endless at times.
Related: 8 Ways to Deal with a Clingy Baby
10. You Will Come to Love All Those Small Moments
Amid the big milestones and stages, you’ll find that motherhood teaches you to appreciate the small moments.
The fleeting, quiet instances that happen in between — like hearing your baby giggle or enjoying the smell of a peacefully sleeping child — become some of the most meaningful and precious moments of your day.
In time, you’ll find yourself savoring these small, seemingly inconsequential moments, realizing they hold the true beauty of motherhood.
Conclusion
From the external to the internal changes that motherhood will throw at you, you’ll be transformed. But these changes, as overwhelming as they may seem at times, can be just as good and beautiful as they are challenging. Embrace them. Be surprised. Learn, love, and mother your little one with all your heart.
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