For many women, becoming a mother is an event filled with wonder, love, and new responsibility. At the same time, there can be a feeling that this is something like another world, the reality of which no one could have prepared her for.
Doctors and nurses are usually primarily focused on the medical aspects of pregnancy and childbirth, but there are many other things that postpartum women should be aware of, but that were never mentioned in the hospital or the office.
Now, don’t get me wrong: I don’t blame doctors and nurses, as they often don’t have the time for those little details, and women experience pregnancy and motherhood in different ways.
That said, there are many things that every mother should be told because knowing them in advance can make the first few weeks with a newborn less shocking and a lot more bearable. So, let’s take a look at ten of these things, shall we?
10 Things Doctors Ignore To Tell New Moms
1. Recovery Can Take Longer Than Expected
One of the biggest surprises for women is the sheer amount of time it takes to recover. The average hospital stay for childbirth is around 48 to 72 hours, with doctors usually saying, “six weeks for complete recovery.” Of course, they don’t mention that each person is different.
For some, the process of recovering from the physical trauma of giving birth can take months, both physically and emotionally.
There are many postpartum issues that women are not told about, like tears that can take ages to heal, abdominal soreness, discomfort from a C-section, or simply being overtired and in pain. As a result, women can feel bad if they do not “bounce back” in the ways they expected.
Related: 10 Benefits of Co-Sleeping with Your Baby
2. Bleeding Can Last for Several Weeks
Women are usually given a stack of giant pads with cotton inside that absorb a lot of blood and are expected to use them for several weeks after childbirth. They’re also usually told about cramps that would require painkillers.
However, one of the postpartum issues that women are not warned about is the fact that bleeding may last for several weeks, even up to six.
Doctors explain that it is the shedding of the uterine lining after giving birth, but they don’t tell women that the bleeding may last for four weeks and beyond, changing from bright red to a brownish color. Of course, heavy bleeding and large blood clots are signs that you should go back to the hospital or your doctor.
3. Breastfeeding May Be Really Hard
We are all told that breastfeeding is a natural process that all mothers are supposed to be able to do. However, breastfeeding, in reality, is a lot more complicated than that.
From difficulties with latching and cracked nipples to a lack of milk supply, which makes the mom dread feeding time. Doctors do not always seem to know that breastfeeding is not as easy as they say it is.
In fact, lactation consultants know that, for some women, it is quite a challenge that requires a lot of patience and perseverance. Furthermore, even though they make it seem like it always works, breastfeeding usually takes time and lots of practice. Supplements and formula are also not a sign of failure as a mother.
Related: 8 Natural Benefits of Breastfeeding for Mom and Baby
4. Lack of Sleep May Feel Torturous
It is usually explained that mothers will not get much sleep, and they are sometimes also given advice on getting babies to sleep through the night and other sleep training tips. However, what is not explained is just how exhausting a lack of sleep can be.
The brain is not designed to function at full capacity while the mother is waking every two hours throughout the night for weeks, if not months, on end.
The impact that sleep deprivation can have on mood, memory, and even physical health is simply not discussed often enough, and it is one of the leading causes of postpartum depression.
If women were told that this was a real issue and not just something that a mother is supposed to “deal with,” they would likely feel more comfortable.
5. Mood Swings Can Be Extreme
Postpartum depression or so-called “baby blues” are widely known, and many doctors don’t need them to be explained.
However, it is important to note that hormones, of course, play a big part in this. After delivery, mothers may experience emotional swings, from joy to despair.
Doctors and nurses do not always mention this, and as a result, most women go through these emotional changes by themselves. It is time to inform women about them so they wouldn’t be shocked by their own feelings.
Related: Healthy and Firm Breasts: 11 Things Women Should Totally Avoid
6. Pelvic Floor Problems May Occur
Moms-to-be are often told not to laugh after delivery, and that’s it. This is one of the most important things that women are not told about after giving birth.
Issues like leaking when you sneeze, a heavy sensation in the pelvis, or pain during intimacy are not that rare, and these things do not only happen to older women.
Doctors do not always consider the pelvic floor damage, and it is up to moms to ask about it. Pelvic floor exercises are a great way to restore your body and strengthen your muscles.
Related; 15 Fun Ways to Exercise with Baby, Post-Pregnancy
7. Bonding May Take Time
Movies have made us believe that mothers are supposed to instantly bond with their babies. However, in reality, it takes time.
There are different reasons for this, from pain and exhaustion to even trauma from the delivery itself. Women are not told that it may take time for them to start enjoying their new motherhood, and that it is completely normal.
It is important to make sure that moms understand this, as not loving every second of the experience does not make them bad parents.
Related: 10 Types of Housework Pregnant Women Should Avoid
8. Societal Pressures Can Be Stressful
Doctors send women home with instructions on how to feed the baby, when to take certain medications, and sometimes even other advice.
However, what they do not mention is the fact that society expects them to be back on their feet sooner or later, with all the house chores to do, guests to receive, and even a job to go back to. Mothers are often expected to run a household while their bodies are still healing.
This is why new moms feel so guilty for resting and asking for help. Women should be told that their main job is to recover and take care of the newborn, as that is already a full-time job and everything else can wait.
9. Hair Loss May Happen
If you are a new mom, you may have noticed large amounts of hair coming out in the shower or when you brush your hair. While it may be really scary and unnerving, it is one of the common side effects of pregnancy and one of the postpartum issues that are not often mentioned.
Doctors usually do not mention it, and that is why women panic when they notice their hair falling out. In most cases, it is a hormonal adjustment and happens three to four months after delivery. Most women find that their hair regrows soon after the initial shock.
Related: Healthy and Firm Breasts: 11 Things Women Should Totally Avoid
10. Your Self-Image May Change
Doctors talk about recovery and going back to normal. They rarely talk about the psychological aspect of motherhood.
Many women, exhausted by sleepless nights and constant care for the newborn, feel like they’ve lost their previous self. It is another one of the things that women are not told about. The problem is that it can feel isolating and lonely.
It is important to tell women about it before or just after they have a baby so they know this is a normal part of the transition, one that takes time, and that they must allow themselves grace while going through it.
Final Thoughts
Motherhood is a rollercoaster of the most extreme emotions: from beauty to sacrifice, from ecstasy to pain and exhaustion.
Doctors and nurses do their best to ensure that mothers and their babies are safe during and after delivery, but there are many postpartum issues that go unmentioned. To the new mothers, I want to say that you are not alone and that it is okay not to feel okay all the time.
To the women who are planning on having kids or are already expecting, I want to say that I wish you all the luck in the world, and I hope these ten truths will help you meet the challenges with compassion and understanding towards yourself.
Above all, always remember that there is no perfect way to be a mother—there is only your way, and it is more than enough.
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